Stoic Sensei #4: Musonius Rufus – The Stoic Feminist vs. The Modern Masculine Myth

What a Roman sage can teach us about life after the shipwreck—and why some modern self-help gurus almost get it right

When your life is in shambles—like, say, you’re going through a separation and your whole idea of “home” is up for grabs—sometimes the best thing you can do is look back 2,000 years for advice. Because while our world has definitely changed, some truths haven’t.

Meet Musonius Rufus.
A Roman Stoic philosopher.
A man who had no time for your excuses—he wanted you to practice virtue, simplicity, and yes, give your damn daughters the same education as your sons.

In a world that treated women like domestic wallpaper, Musonius was the guy saying:

“Nah, they deserve philosophy, too. Let them have it.”

The Basics of Musonius

• Born around 30 CE, Musonius was a fierce advocate for the practical side of philosophy—no ivory tower nonsense.

• He lived simply, lectured publicly, and believed that the only way to be truly free was to train your mind and character.

• Oh, and he didn’t stop there—he said women needed that same training. Radical? Hell yes.

He was basically the Stoic who said, “If your life’s in chaos? Start with the basics: live with virtue. And don’t think that’s just for men.”

Look, I’m living in the messy middle of this philosophy experiment right now. My separation’s got me rethinking everything I thought was permanent—where I live, how I love, what the next chapter even is. It’s an emotional shipwreck, and sometimes I want to stay stuck in the nostalgia of what’s lost.

Musonius, though? He’s the voice telling me:

“Good. Now’s the time to practice what you know. Don’t just read about virtue—live it. And remember it’s not just for some; it’s for everyone.”

Modern Echoes: Jordan Peterson & the Crisis of the “Lost Man”

It’s hard not to see some parallels with modern self-help voices—like Jordan Peterson. He’s famous (or infamous) for telling young men:

“Clean your room. Take responsibility. Find purpose.”

And let’s be real—that message resonates. When you feel like your life’s gone sideways, there’s comfort in starting with small acts of order. Peterson’s been a lifeline for guys who feel lost in a world that no longer hands them a map for manhood.

But here’s the rub: Musonius wouldn’t have stopped at “clean your room.”
He’d have said:

“Sure. Clean your room. But also clean your mind of bullshit hierarchies. And don’t you dare leave the women out of the conversation.”

Peterson’s world often circles around traditional roles—he talks about masculine archetypes and the natural hierarchy of life. Musonius, though, would raise an eyebrow at that. He’d say:

“Virtue is for everyone. No one gets a pass, and no one gets a crown just for being born with a dick.”

He wasn’t interested in propping up one group at the expense of another. He wanted everyone—men and women—to have the tools to navigate life’s chaos and live well.

In this big, weird chapter of my life, Stoicism feels like a north star. Musonius is reminding me that:

• Virtue is the only real currency.

• Simplicity is strength.

• No one—no matter how small, how overlooked—should be shut out of learning how to live better.

Meanwhile, I get why young men flock to someone like Jordan Peterson. Life can feel empty and aimless. Having someone tell you to get your shit together? It’s a relief. And I like Peterson. I really do.

But Musonius would whisper from the back of the porch:

“Don’t confuse personal discipline with patriarchal power. The real work isn’t about controlling others—it’s about controlling yourself.”

If you’re in the middle of your own shitstorm—like me—maybe the best thing you can do isn’t to clean your room (though, let’s be honest, that helps). Maybe it’s to clean up your intentions.
To ask:

• What kind of person do I want to be?

• How can I live simply and with purpose—even when nothing makes sense?

• And how can I make sure everyone around me gets the same chance to grow?

Musonius might not have known about midlife crises, digital overload, or Instagram algorithms, but he knew the truth of it all:

The real work isn’t gendered. It’s human.
It’s daily. It’s messy.
And it’s worth it.

So yeah, clean your room. But don’t stop there.
And if you need a Stoic cameo to keep you honest, let Musonius Rufus remind you: virtue isn’t just for the boys’ club—it’s for everyone who wants to build a life that lasts.

xo,

Jade