What Your Favorite Tarot Card Says About Your Toxic Traits

Oh, so you’ve picked your favorite tarot card? Buckle up, buttercup. Here’s what that card says about your delightful inner demons.

The Fool – You’re a chaos gremlin, aren’t you? Charging into situations like they’re free samples at Sam's Club, with zero game plan and an unshakable belief in your own delusion. Bless your messy little heart.

The Magician – Your hustle is real, but your habit of twisting every situation to fit your narrative? That’s some next-level puppet master shit. You’re a creator alright—of chaos.

The High Priestess – You’d rather vibe in a corner of moody mystery than actually admit you don’t have the answers. Your spiritual aesthetic is impeccable, but your communication skills? Practically in witness protection.

The Empress – You’re all about growth and beauty, but let’s not pretend you don’t lowkey expect everyone to cater to your every whim. Queen behavior with a side of high maintenance.

The Emperor – You’re big on control and structure. But newsflash: life doesn’t always follow your bullet points. So loosen that iron grip, Caesar.

The Hierophant – You love to act like you’re the moral compass of your friend group, but you’re really just clinging to traditions like they’re a safety blankie.

The Lovers – You’re one of those starry-eyed romantics who sees every passing Tinder match as a cosmic sign. “It’s fate!” you cry—while ignoring every red flag like they’re just carnival streamers.

The Chariot – You’re determined as hell, but let’s be real—your need to always “win” can steamroll everything in your path, including people’s feelings.

Strength – You’re tough, no doubt, but you’re so used to holding it together for everyone else that you’ve forgotten how to actually let people in.

The Hermit – You’re the wise loner… until you ghost your friends and act like it’s some profound spiritual retreat, when really you’re just avoiding your own shit.

The Wheel of Fortune – You act like you’re above it all—fate’s favorite plaything. But deep down, you’re terrified of anything that’s out of your control.

Justice – You crave fairness and balance, but your black-and-white worldview can make you as rigid as a nun’s corset.

The Hanged Man – You love to act like you’re “just going with the flow,” but you’re actually just stuck. Change your perspective or stay upside-down forever, babe.

Death – You love to act like you’re a dark, edgy soul with zero fucks to give, but let’s be real—someone unfollowing you on Instagram still ruins your whole day.

Temperance – You’re all about finding that sweet spot, but let’s be honest—sometimes you’re just using “balance” as an excuse to be indecisive as hell.

The Devil – You say you’re just “embracing your desires,” but really, you’re just refusing to delete that situationship’s number because you live for the drama. Own it.

The Tower – You crave the rush of destruction. You’re the human equivalent of a forest fire. Except your “controlled burns” usually end up torching everyone else’s picnic, too.

The Star – Oh, sweet hopeful one. Your toxic trait? Blind optimism. You’d rather sprinkle glitter on a dumpster fire than face the fact that some people just can’t be saved.

The Moon – Your vibe is all about mystery and illusion, but let’s face it—half the time you’re lost in your own maze of overthinking.

The Sun – You’re the human version of a motivational poster. But you shine so bright that you forget other people have shadows, too.

Judgement – You’re constantly reinventing yourself, but your need to “rise from the ashes” every five minutes leaves your friends rolling their eyes.

The World – You’re obsessed with completion, but your need to wrap everything up in a tidy bow means you’re always disappointed when life refuses to act like a Netflix finale.

So go ahead—pick your favorite. Just remember: the card is spilling your tea harder than your ex’s drunk texts.

Before I sign off, remember: this stuff is for entertainment purposes only. So don’t get your tarot themed knickers in a twist if you disagree, or feel called out—I’m calling myself out, too. The Empress? I wear that shit on a necklace. The Emperor? Yeah, that’s my life path card—control freak central, baby. And Strength? Of course, I’m a Leo—so my whole life is a dramatic flex for the ages. Anyway, the cards do seem to know us better than we know ourselves sometimes.

xo,
Jade